Putting The Pieces Back Together, A Journey of Healing and Living with PTSD
PTSD can manifest in highly variable ways, ranging from high functioning to low functioning and existing on a spectrum. However, it deserves significant attention. People who suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder continue to relive past experiences, affecting every aspect of their lives. Their environment, sleep, thoughts, and stress levels escalate every time their brain is triggered by cues they may or may not recognize. Sometimes we consciously suppress these thoughts, but symptoms can show up unexpectedly. A simple noise, gesture, people, places, events, or our unconscious thoughts can trigger panic attacks, anxiety, flashbacks, and nightmares. Their minds and bodies never truly experience peace. The timeline is blurred, and pieces of our memories are blurred as well. Our minds live in scarcity and survival mode, yet our bodies can exist in a safe, secure physical environment.
This incongruence between mind, body, and soul can perpetuate a self-defeating cycle. Relationships can result in dysfunction due to underlying causes and triggers we are unaware of. It is difficult to break free from autopilot mode. Flashbacks can cause you to feel like the walls are caving in, and it’s getting harder to breathe. You may feel detached from yourself and from the world around you. The mind tries to compensate by putting these memories and events in little boxes and filing them away. This is your brain trying to protect itself, a defense mechanism. But defense mechanisms, just like anything else used in excess, can be hurtful. If the trauma is never processed or "boxed away" repeatedly, the "boxing" can create blocks in our memory and our being. Losing yourself, memories between all the boxes, and piecing yourself together can be difficult. This is especially true when we remain in fight, flight, or freeze mode. If stress mode is so easily activated, it can cause a lack of clarity. A chaotic mind is a mind that is resistant to change and cannot build new healthy brain pathways. A divided mind lacks memory, focus, clarity, and organization. The exhausting cycle can lead to burnout, and motivation can seem like a thing of the past. An unhealed mind will get lost in the trauma. The mind and body keep a memory of events, and your mind may be living in two places at once. The disconnectedness, derealization, depersonalization can leave one in pieces with voids and gaps. Perhaps it is time to piece yourself back together to become a whole version of yourself.
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