Are You Getting in the Way of Your Own Success?
How many times have you referred to yourself with hurtful terms like stupid, dumb, worthless and so on? These words have become a part of us since childhood when we were raised to believe in extremely high expectations of ourselves and each other, to achieve success and avoid mistakes. The idea was to construct an identity, yet we unknowingly ended up relinquishing it. Our drive to be accepted and liked by the external world has replaced our internal ambition to meet our own standards and live by our own values. We may even have a hard time recognizing ourselves. Would you be able to state your beliefs, ambitions and vision, if asked?
It is time to investigate the voices in your head - the ones that echo at night and when you are alone. Are these voices positive or negative, full of doubt and worry? Whose voice are you really hearing? As a child, instead of applauding our efforts, we were criticized and harshly labeled as stupid, dumb, idiot and so on. These destructive thoughts and words became our inner voice and, for some, their entire identity. Consider the opposite; instead of calling ourselves and others demeaning terms, try recognizing and rewarding the hard work, effort, and the positive lessons learned from mistakes.
We are trained to live in fear; fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of loss and fear of collaboration. Such crippling emotions can impede growth, and trigger defensive or avoidant behaviors. Avoidance is never the answer; we should learn to grow from our failures in order to achieve more successful outcomes. When children are constantly told they are not good enough, it stifles their enthusiasm and their drive to continue striving. We can imagine the feeling of being trapped in a box and no matter how hard we try, the external forces continue to break us down. Where is the room for play, connection, collaboration and comfort?
When children are constantly negated and made to feel inferior for their efforts. This will decrease motivation and increase burnout feeling. Imagine being stuck in a box and no matter what you do, you will be beat down by people around you, or the system in general. When there is no room for play, connection, collaboration, comfort, this increases the room for misery.
Help your tribe do better. This is done by reverse engineering the brain, rather than making a negative comment when something does not live up to our personal expectations. Try a more positive, constructive, problem-solving approach.
If we continue to speak negatively and full of fear, we start believing that. We talk this way to ourselves and sometimes others.
Above all, how could you ever love the person in the mirror when they receive such negative feedback?
Whether these negative thoughts, words and cognitions are intentional or not, your brain starts to believe them. Your brain starts to believe the dark humor and adapts to the darkness around you.
How could you ever love a person that does not receive your deep love? Who is that person in the mirror? Support them, comfort them, sit with them, and tell them they are worthy of love. They are your best friend. Perhaps it’s time to stop believing you are worthless, a failure, and lack capabilities. You can be abundant, it’s time to give the inner self a chance for success. It is time to free yourself from a self-sabotaging cycle. Contact Empower Mental Health today to begin your successful healing journey.